"and I no longer drink enough"

"to think you're witty"

Yeah.
I need to go to sleep.

Last night I had a dream that I tore my forearm open and ripped out all the flesh.
It was just so dark it made my stomach churn. When I woke up I realized that I am not that unhappy self-deprecating girl. It makes me sick to think I sunk that low.

I think these past two months have helped me gain my own footing. I feel I've aged a few years even.

My father told me in a recent letter to keep my feet on the ground and my head in the stars.
And I'll do just that.

last day

Well, I counted the days wrong on this damn thing, but itskay. Today is the last day of solitude. Hard to believe that it's been over 2 weeks.

Yesterday, I got my drivers permit.
The great part about it was that I had been worried over whether or not I'd pass the test. I ended up finishing it in under 3 minutes, got 100% and finished before the people who were there before me.
A sense of pride and achievement over a simple task.

Had a dentist appointment. All went well.
Overall, everything is good. I should be driving sometime this week. A bit nervous about that. I believe that's an understatement. I'm terrified to drive a vehicle. But then again, I was terrified to move away from home the day after graduation, but it turned out fine. I'm not dependent on other people for my own happiness. I don't need external validation of who I am.
It really baffles me that humans in general avoid learning anything about the world around them because it's 'boring'. That's bullshit. This month has given me perspective and I realize that I shouldn't let other people hinder my potential. I already let my mother do that.

Anyway, I need to get back to being active instead of : "hey, im home alone. i can lay on this couch, eat burritos, and not brush my hair. hey, how about i have a star trek movie marathon?"
yeah. i've been such a bum this month.

people go wakeboarding around here and le' dork is really into it.
...yeah I'd probably fracture something.

"I'm not the man they think I am at home.
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man."

thirteen

Jim's Big Ego-The Ballad of Barry Allen
Mark Aaron James-Aquaman's Lament
Four-Color Love Story
Flash-Queen


Yeah the music selection is superhero themed today.
Started my day off watching Superman on amc. Ultra-classic.


Am I the only one who wants Batgirl to show up in nolan-verse? Well along with Harley Quinn, but with the death of Ledger that seems impossible.
But with Alan Moore's The Killing Joke, rendering Batgirl paralyzed, I could see Nolan taking on her character. The darker the better, right?
I've looked up to batgirl since I was four and got my first rc batmobile. That thing was the shit. I wish I still had it. Not to mention that from ages 3-6 after a bath, I'd run around the house naked screaming, "BUTT-MAN! NANANANA"

Yeah I was a pretty classy kid.

Been watching Doctor Who lately. I really love it despite how scientifically inaccurate it is. Well that's why it's called: SciFi. Rose is actually a more bareable character with each episode. EVen though I'm aware of the spoilers :[

Temps test tomorrow. Nervous. Dentist Appointment afterwards. Nervous.

And I encountered a dead cat today. It was really strange.

eleventy-twelve?

Didn't sleep. Went for a walk at 3 in the morning and I just got back. I was followed for like a half hour by some creepy red ford, and all of you non-existant people would be proud to know that I told him off with middle fingers and everything. IT WAS LIBERATING.

K.
So anyway,
that chinese buffet was the best chinese food experience i've ever had. seriously. so good.

music fer ya:
Pogo-Under a Spell <3
Figurine-Stranger
Yawn-Kind of Guy
Lemon Demon-I've Got Some Falling To Do


Yeah, I know it's all indie, but I love it okay? So back off brotha.

It's Saturday!
That means laundry, cleaning, and napping. Possibly burritos if I decide I don't hate my body image momentarily.
Hell, I'm gonna have burritos no matter what.
Burritos are like sex for a pathetic seemingly asexual girl who needs to stop watching star trek next generation.

Monday- Driver's Temp thang/Dentist Appt.
yesterday, I even went grocery shopping :D

I AM SO FREAKIN INDEPENDENT


Oh and Mayim Bialik is a new hero of mine.

Along with Data[STNG] of course.

Day 11. Some tunes.

Suburban Kids With Biblical Names- Loop Duplicate My Heart
Figurine- IMpossible
The Submarines-Brighter Discontent
The boy Least Likely To- Be Gentle With Me

Been watching Star Trek Next Generation all evening. Ran a couple miles so I could eat burritos, and took out the garbage. Exciting day.

Tomorrow we're going out for Chinese Food. Happ-eh-ness <3

Le' Dork is a doll.

Day 10. Finally a tolerable human being.

Is it too early to say I just met my soulmate?

Yeah. Definitely is. Especially since I don't believe in 'soul-mates'.
Anyway he's kind of my ideal friend. Ryan.

He's a fuckin smartass.
Honors Program [Applying for since I meet all the requirements, just need letters of rec.]
Ambassadors Club [Which I was already joining]
And he's a morning person.
He's got these great twitches and he's completely socially inept and tall.
Blue eyes.
Signs of OCD
Pretty much perfect by my definition

we got to talking about our courses and everything and he appreciated my flash
t-shirt.
this man is ultra-win.

and he works at some fish house in town, which is pretty big around here.

I was like, "What do you do for fun around here?"
He went on to talk about all these academic organizations he's in. And he's going into optometry and can technically get his 2 year credits to transefer by the third semester.
Likes boating[like every other person in this town], along with fishing and mixed martial arts.

The Perfect Nerd.

This kid is just the socially awkward bundle of perfect I need. I was beginning to worry I wouldn't find another tolerable human being down here.
Met some other people too.
One chic whose name I can't spell,something like: Laschum, who has a kid, but she was pretty kickass.
And some other chic named Hannah who was completely gorgeous.

But Ryan seems like the perfect balance of brain and boy.
Finally someone who understands what I'm talking about half of the time.

Day 10

My Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsCAy9ErdKY

Student Orientation tomorrow.

Determined to resist everyone's objections to my decision.
I'm going to make it work whether they like or not.

I have limitless connections. I could intern at nasa next summer if I get my ass in gear.