Dear God,
If you exist you're the most miserable sonofabitch. That is to say, I fucking hate you.
My whole life has been one great big slab of shit, and anytime I think it's getting better you prove me wrong.
Let's see what this year has amounted to:
Feeling violated
getting sick
cat dies
seeing a psych
being on suicide watch
confessing my pathetic feelings to someone who doesnt give a damn
just general shittyness following
cutting
drinking myself into an oblivion
painkillers
purging
considering suicide as an alternative to life after graduation
being kicked out of my own house for something i didn't do
bulimia
my best friend attempting suicide
my best friend ignoring the world before i have to leave
finding out my dad is getting sick
moving 13 hours away from everything ive ever known
starting off in a new town and i still dont know a goddamn person
my best friend not seeing how much of a dumbass she's being with her great new decision
being fucking alone
and now, you take away the one thing that makes my dad fuckin happy:
my cat
my cat was apart of the fucking family
i haven't felt this miserable in months
i realize that alot of my misfortunes this year are of my own account, but holy fucking hell! Why do terrible things happen to good people? Not to say I'm a fucking saint, but most of my problems are usually the result of me caring too fucking much.
Take away my goddamn cat?
And in the most terrible way too.
i feel so fucking sick. my dad's going to go right back to his depression again.
and me? I think I've been depressed since I was fucking born.
AND I CANT FUCKING SLEEP,
And you know what's the best part of all of this, no one gives a damn
And if I just die? No one's gonna fucking know. What a fucking great world we live in.
"You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago. "
No comments:
Post a Comment