Starting to feel better. Of course I'm still in shock, and I don't think I'll ever fully grasp the concept of death considering that anyone I've ever known to die, I've never came to terms with. Death has always fascinated me and it always will. But I believe that's only human of me.
Sonny was always there for me. He was a cat, yes, but I can recall so many times when he just sat next to me in some of my darkest times, and he was truly a comfort. People who don't believe that animals have that ability think too logistically about things and are just devoid of emotion.
These past few days have been hell. I've been awake for over 2 days now, but I feel okay, like I've lost the requirement for sleep. Almost like my body is beyond that.
But then I know, I'll start feeling drowsy and seeing things, so I'll probably pass out later.
Today, I have to study that goddamn driver's manual.
I think my cat's death just sort of awakened a few things in me that I didn't know.
And you know what? I'm beyond the people I used to cling to.
I have self-esteem and self-respect despite how low things can get in my life. And I will not belittle myself for others. Friendships should never be one-sided. Someone has to meet the other half way. If you're not here for me, I'm not here for you.
And today is the first day that I am not 'in love' with you.
I will not pin my happiness on someone else. We come into this world alone, and we leave alone.
I am my own self, and my happiness and security is mine alone.
I made lemonade.
But I guess, 'when life hands you lemons, make lemonade'. I didn't realize that until after I made it.
No this isn't some metaphor. I really did make lemonade.
http://www.lyricinterpretations.com/The-Killers/Spaceman
The first interpretation of the lyrics is my favorite.
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